Saturday, August 8, 2015

Tony's Stupid GPS, and the Mosh Off of 2015





Date: Saturday, August 8, 2015
Venue: Curtain Club, Dallas TX
Lineup: Bunch o' bands. Lookit that flyer. So many bands.


GETTING THERE
There we were, heading to play in the Dallas/Ft Worth area for the first time in five years, as part of the weekend-long Mosh Off sponsored by the Pit Bulls organization. Tony and JT lead the way in Tony's truck, carrying only amp heads and guitars since amp cabs were going to be backlined this show. Tarzan followed, carrying his bass, our shirts and CDs, and a recently-aquired merch table. I and my companion Sue held up the rear, lugging my kit since drums were not being backlined. We were excited to see our Dallas friends for the first time in years, and finally play somewhere that wasn't San Antonio or Austin. Hopes were high.

When Tony pulled off the highway, lead our little convoy into a rest area, and told me that his Garmin was erratically trying to direct him to an alternate route which he was just gonna go with, what I should have said was, "Dude, fuck your Garmin. That thing was a miracle back in 2008, when we were stumbling our way through San Antonio using directions printed off MapQuest. But now, with its unreliable satellite connections and insistence on following one route and one route alone, that thing's becoming more of a liability. I know none of us wants to drain away his battery or data plan using his phone to lead us all the way there, but we know that the Curtain Club is not too far off I-35. What we should do, then, is just stay on the highway for about two hours, and when we feel we're in a Dallas-ish proximity, you or JT boot up a GPS app of choice and take us the rest of the way there."

For reasons I can't comprehend, other than I'm stupid, what I actually said was "Okie dokie!"

Now, I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy the scenic route a bit. Little towns like Moody and McGregor seem like neat places to book a hotel and spend a Saturday exloring. The Big Rocks Park in Glen Rose promises whole... half hours of amusement climbing on the as-advertised ginormous rocks and I guess eating a picnic lunch or something. Best of all, Stumpy's Lakeside Grill in Granbury has a breathtaking view of the Brazos River, which itself holds promise of summer-afternoon fun for the whole family or a group of close friends.

However.

The four and a half hour drive (it should have only been three) was frustrating. The collision-clogged city streets, on-a-dime lane changes, and residential speed limits were aggravating. Arriving at 5:55pm to play a set at 6:20 was, worst of all, humiliating. Plutonian Shore were set to play before us, and I had arranged to share my kit with Gorgon as a way to reduce changeover time and to thank him for letting me use his kit at the 1349 show back in June. I had to back out on that, and felt double-embarrassed for that. Even the laid-back vibe, plentiful (and cheap!) parking, and agreeable traffic of the beautiful Deep Ellum streets did little to assuage how cranky, cramped, and just plain stupid we all felt.

Our attitudes improved greatly the instant we entered the Curtain Club.

BEING THERE
We were greeted by a professional staff and lead directly to a backstage area with racks for gear storage (!) and even a neat little lounge area that was pleasantly isolated without the "fuck you commoner" VIP vibe of separation by rope or door. The stage itself was plenty spacious, had an elevated drum riser, and, true to the venue name, had a heavy dark curtain that was drawn closed between sets.

I didn't even realize how much I dug the drape until I experienced setting up behind it. Offstage, I am all for accessibility and transparency, but onstage, immersion is the name of the game, and nothing will throw that off quite like watching the performers fumble around trying to find the cable that plugs this into that or trip over the drummer's tripod stands. Of course, most audience members head outside or across the venue during changeovers, but when setting up on an open stage I still can't help but feel like I'm already in performance mode, already being observed and made note of. With the curtain, all the audience sees is what was intended for them, and the setup and soundcheck feels that much less stressful because of it.

The soundcheck itself was a dream. We were all mic'd up and we each had a monitor, from which everyone could hear a little bit of everything. The techs helping us were friendly and communicative, and the actual sound guy told us ahead of time what order he'd check us in and how we should indicate desired volume adjustments.

We were given an all-clear, our name was announced to the waiting audience, and the curtain was pulled back. I counted off FBF and we were off into one of the more intense shows we've played in recent memory. I could tell we had a very unique aura going this evening; all the fury built up from our long journey, combined with the goodwill we felt toward this wonderfully run venue, gave us an energy that was equal parts bloodthirsty and playful, malicious and jubilant, exactly what, if anything, Hexlust is "about." It's exactly what Tony and I had in mind when we first started jamming together, and I can honestly say we haven't played with such spirit since that Limelight show last April.

Of course, audience reaction was a huge help. We only had, maybe, twelve people up at the front of the stage? But dammit, those twelve people were STOKED to see us, and I saw quite a few pits going on during our set. 

Unfortunately, our skin-of-our-teeth arrival gave us zero minutes of warmup time, so our demonic fervor was paired with a rather pedestrian execution. We were plenty convincing during mid-tempo numbers like "FBF" and "Baphomet," but lagged on our fuck-you fast church-burners like "Imminent" and "Tombs." My unstretched legs plopped and plodded through the double-bass sections of "Conjure" and "Mega." Some riffs went on too long, some solos were sloppy (even for us), some vocals came in at the wrong place. Speaking of which, thanks to the awesome monitors, I clearly heard Tony's and Tarzan's vocals crack and lose their "metal edge" about halfway through. 

By no means were we terrible, but if we had arrived even just twenty minutes earlier, just had that much time to get ourselves warmed up, our energy and execution would have been exactly equal, and this would have been a show for the history books. But hey, we made it on time, put on a solid show, gave some folks a good time, and sold some merch. I'm still very happy with how it all turned out.

SET LIST:
Fucked By Fire
They Conjure
Baphomet Dawn
Imminent Retardation
Meganecropolis
Tombs of the Blind Dead


LEAVING THERE
Tarzan had been on the road since 8:30 that morning, driving from San Antonio to my house in Killeen and then from there to Dallas, our time here at the show his longest "break" all day. Since he was staying at my house, I was planning on leaving our departure time entirely up to him. Sadly, my energy deteriorated fast once my adrenaline died down, and I, Mr. Night Shift, Mr. Stays Up Til Sun-up, threw in the towel by 8:30. Old Man Tony was getting hungry, and basically this wound up being a rare "dick em and ditch em" show for Hexlust. Next time we come through, though, we'll plan the trip out better, maybe even get a room for the night, and will be able to hang out sooner and stick around longer.

Rest assured, Dallas metalheads, this was just a taste of the hexcellence to come!

THANKS/SHOUTOUTS
A huge thanks goes to Les Playcool, for giving us this chance and for patiently working with us on our scheduling needs, and to the Pit Bulls for bringing this shindig together.

Thanks to the staff at the Curtain Club, you guys are awesome and your venue is top-notch, we can't wait to come back!

To Plutonian Shore, sorry we missed most of your set, though I finally got to hear your rendition of HIGH-LAND TY-TY-RANT AT-TACK! The new album, Sphere of Geburah, is fantastic, everybody should go buy a copy or download it.

Christopher Atomic-Thrasher!!! It was great seeing you again, massively looking forward to what Insinnerator put out next. Remember: MORE WHAMMY BAR SOLOS!

To Sue, for putting up with my freaked-out temper up to our set, and my parents, supportive as ever, always there when they can catch a show, I love you dearly.

Everyone who watched us, headbanged to our tunes, cheered for us, and/or bought some merch, big thanks to you all as well, and we hope to see you out there again! 

UPDATE: It turns out Tony had "avoid highways" selected on his GPS.